The First Moment of Motherhood

doula stafford

For some of us, it was when we felt the first flutter.  For others, it was the first time we held our sweet baby in our arms.  Others of us yet, bonding with our child happened the day we decided to grow our families. 

At that moment, a mother was born.

The moment you became a mother, you felt your love expand through the edges of pain until it grew fierce.  Until it threatened to burn you up with intensity you had to tell someone, even if it was a single word whisper to the universe, “Love.”  The moment you held that child in your arms or your mind, you became a mother.  As you made plans on where to buy your maternity clothes, stressed out over whether to invest in Britax or Peg Perego, or bought a onesie from your alma-mater, you were a mother.

For some, the fierce love came later, after we are able to rest and recover from the sheer exhaustion that is the result of longing for and expecting a child. 

When we can see past the seemingly unending cycle of feed-snuggle-sleep that a newborn brings to our lives, the love creeps up on us slowly, until it burns as bright as any sun, because we are mothers.

For some of us, that earthshattering love comes only after we have put ourselves back together with tenderness and strength to come out the darkness of depression and anxiety.  We too love deeply.

Some of us don’t get to fall in love with babies, but become mothers to children who have never known the inside of our bodies. Children who someone else has cooed over, but who claim our hearts as if they had lived there forever. 

Children who come into our lives through love, marriage, faith, adoption, they all they will equally obliterate our hearts

and teach us about love so profound there are poets still looking for the words to describe it.  You too, are a mom, and know the heartbreakingly beautiful love that comes with motherhood.

No matter how you became a mom, no matter how your children have come to you, whether you are holding them in your arms, have had to let them go, or haven’t held them yet, I see you.

Because mothers are not created in the womb, but in the heart.

Happy Mothers’ Day, to all of the beautiful moms we have had the chance to get to know, to serve, and to love.



Victoria McCollum

Victoria McCollum is a birth and postpartum doula and owner of Doulas of Fredericksburg, in Fredericksburg, Virgina. She resides there with her husband and three precocious sons.