Eyebrow, You Brow

I'm not gonna lie, the squiggle brow is just not for me. 

Between brows, lips and eyeliner, the squiggle look feels a little bit like living in the Hunger Games or Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka: too surreal for my taste.  Not to mention that there is no way you'll ever catch me with enough time to try it myself-- I barely have time to throw on my Smashbox mascara and MAC lip gloss before there are little hands reaching under the bathroom door in the morning: "Mommy!! Watcha doin'?"

And while I'm being really frank, I think that perhaps outside of artistic photography, I find it just a little... frivolous.  But here's the thing:

Frivolous can be great. 

Some people need frivolous in their lives.  Some people's blood starts pumping and have a passion to create surreal and outside the box anything, including makeup.  And passion is beautiful.

doulas in richmond

I can think it is frivolous all day long, but

my discernment for my eyebrows' shape does not immediately mean a judgement of yours.

I'll never look down on a person for squiggling their eyebrows, shaving them off, or letting them grow au natural.  What each person decides to do with their face has nothing to do with mine, other than I think we can all stand to enjoy each other's faces more.  And I'm always for women, and parents, feeling stronger and more comfortable in their own skin.

My judgement would serve no one but myself.  As a doula, my entire job is to empower people to make their own decisions, and to help women feel comfortable and confident during their most tender, most vulnerable moments

Judgement of your choices has no place here. 

As a woman and a mother, it is my fervent belief that we need to spend less time shaming and judging choices we wouldn't make for ourselves, and more time building each other up.  There are already so many message that tell us we aren't good enough, we need to buy this or that for ourselves, our kids, our diets, our hair, our family to be better.  Too many voices telling us what we need to do because my way is the right way. I refuse to engage in making people feel small because of their choices; not in person, not through my writing, and not through social media.

I'm not saying it's always easy, unlearning first instincts are hard to re-pattern. (And there is certainly a line I'm willing to cross: when your choices belittle/deny another person's humanity, I will judge the hell out of that.)  On the whole though, judgement-free support is a central tenet of who I am, who I am raising my kids to be, and how we function as supporters of families during birth and afterward.

Parenting or eyebrows: You go, Girl!  Do what makes you happy.  What makes you feel beautiful and strong.  And we will have your back.

Victoria McCollum

Victoria McCollum is a birth and postpartum doula and owner of Doulas of Fredericksburg, in Fredericksburg, Virgina. She resides there with her husband and three precocious sons.